Being lopsided is a pain in the back

Quite literally.

Today my back is killing me. Gravity is causing my back to twist awkwardly and it's really starting to take a toll. I'm very glad I was able to get my surgery scheduled when I did. Just a few more days...

While it is a relief, it's also scary and a bit unnerving. After having this chest of mine for the past 25 years, I've gotten a bit used to it! Going to be a change...one that requires all new bras. I'm very grateful that my best bud is flying in Wednesday night  to be here for the surgery and to get me home the next day. We get to spend a little time together and he will be here to help out. I'm lucky to have him in my life and I'm eternally grateful that he's willing to be here for me.

Yesterday I got my first of four Prolia shots, and hope that its able to save my bones. My blood tests show that my white blood count has been dropping, it's still in the normal range, but very much on the low side.

Also had my mammogram - on the left side only thanks to the restrictions of the insurance company -  and everything came back completely normal, so that's a load off my mind. I can't get the right side done however for another 6 months even though its due in October.  I have to let it wait so that they get both sides back on the same schedule. That is extremely nerve wracking.

Not too long after my lumpectomy, I had gone to a Hope meeting at the Gaver's Breast Center and one of the things discussed that night was how the worry never goes away. It's an apprehension that is always there. You learn to live with it. You learn to push it aside so that it isn't in the forefront, but even in the back of your mind, that "what if" is always lurking around somewhere. Every time you get a cold, don't feel well, are overly tired, or have an ache or pain, the mind jumps to that "is it back?" question. I hope it gets better over time. It is definitely not a pleasant feeling. 

I have a lot of fun, busy stuff coming up to keep my mind off of it, and to try to get to my new normal. Parties, special events and book fairs at work, NaNoWriMo, and of course the holidays are almost here. It's a hectic time of year, but I get the feeling that I'm going to appreciate it more this year than I have previously, after all, life is pretty damn good.